| If she does not speak English, you can usually | | | | Polatsk is about a two-hour drive north from |
| arrange through the local marriage agency to | | | | Minsk. I inquired about the fee, which the |
| have a translator on the call. This may cost you | | | | translator said would be about $200.00. |
| ten to twenty dollars per hour, but at least you | | | | I told them I would take the train to Polatsk by |
| will be able to converse with each other. | | | | myself. The translator then asked, "How will we |
| Other resources are local universities that have | | | | recognize you at the train station?" |
| university students who are studying English. | | | | I described myself. The translator responded, |
| Usually their services can be arranged fairly | | | | "Why don't you carry an American flag so we |
| inexpensively. | | | | can identify you?" |
| I used translation services from the marriage | | | | I responded dryly, "Of course. And I will be singing |
| agencies a few times with widely varying results. | | | | 'God Bless America,' as I march through the train |
| One of the worst was an agency in Polatsk, | | | | station, waving the flag." |
| Belarus. This was, hands down, the worst | | | | As an aside, I found a pair of boxer shorts made |
| marriage agency I ever encountered. It was the | | | | out of the same material and in the same pattern |
| agency run by Olga Narkevich. | | | | as the American flag. I brought them with me on |
| The young girl who did the translating was an | | | | my trip. I was going to wave them as I made |
| English student. She did her best, but she could | | | | my way through the train station in Polatsk. |
| barely speak English. She could only remember | | | | The translator said that they would take care of |
| about five to ten words at a time before she had | | | | all hotel reservations, meals, and other |
| to do a data dump and translate. | | | | arrangements. I asked how much. After consulting |
| Sometimes this was in the middle of a sentence | | | | Olga in Russian, she replied to me, "About one |
| and it was difficult, if not impossible, to get | | | | thousand dollars per day." |
| anything but the simplest concepts translated. | | | | I said, "Congratulations, Polatsk has become the |
| The basic message got through, but a | | | | most expensive city in the world in which to visit." |
| conversation that should have taken fifteen | | | | I asked the translator, "How could I possibly |
| minutes took over two hours. On top of that, the | | | | spend one thousand dollars in a day in a country |
| phone connection was so bad, we were both | | | | where the average income is one hundred dollars |
| screaming at each other on the phone to be | | | | per month?" |
| heard. | | | | After conversing with Olga in Russian again, the |
| The telephone system in the CIS countries is | | | | translator answered, "You may want to go boar |
| about fifty years behind the telephone system in | | | | hunting." |
| the West. I have noticed that in the winter, | | | | Her response was so hilarious to me, I burst out |
| particularly, the quality of the phone lines suffer | | | | laughing. I said to her that the only thing I was |
| dramatically. This is probably due to the extreme | | | | there to hunt was for a delightful woman to |
| cold. | | | | become my wife. |
| I found myself feeling more and more upset by | | | | I thought to myself, "And the only thing I was |
| the act of screaming into the phone, even though | | | | likely to shoot is a greedy, unethical, evil owner of |
| no words were said to make me angry. My | | | | a marriage agency." |
| frustration with the slow pace of the translation | | | | Needless to say, I declined their offer. My only |
| added to that feeling. When I hung up, I was | | | | reason for going to Polotsk was for the benefit |
| drenched in sweat and ornery enough to take on | | | | of the woman I was to meet. I had already |
| a biker gang. | | | | made my mind up about Olga. |
| To understand why I ranked this marriage agency | | | | After my laborious conversations with the |
| as the worst that I encountered, you need to | | | | translator, you can imagine how I felt when I |
| hear the rest of the story. | | | | called up Olga's agency on my way through |
| At first, my telephone conversations took place | | | | Belarus, and Olga was able to converse with me |
| between a Russian woman who was a client of | | | | in perfect English. |
| Olga's and myself. At some point in the translated | | | | She had put me through hours of tedium to train |
| conversation, it was obvious that Olga had | | | | her translator at twenty dollars per hour, plus the |
| inserted herself. | | | | cost of the telephone calls, while she could have |
| I was peppered with questions about my income | | | | spoken to me without problem in perfect English |
| and other personal questions. In addition, pressure | | | | in a fraction of the time. |
| was being applied for me to use their service in | | | | It was with a certain delight that I told Olga that I |
| Belarus at what I thought was a ridiculous | | | | would not be stopping in Polatsk. The thought that |
| usurious rate. | | | | Olga was imagining bags of money flying away |
| For example, the translator asked if I would like | | | | brought joy to my heart. |
| to come to Polatsk to meet the woman who I | | | | I felt sorry for the woman I was to visit in |
| was conversing with. I answered that that would | | | | Polatsk. I had fallen in love with my future wife |
| be nice. | | | | and that was that. She was 'the one.' I knew it as |
| The translator then said that they would send a | | | | soon as I met her. |
| driver to pick me up at the train station in Minsk. | | | | |