| "You catch more flies with honey than with | | | | existence. |
| vinegar." When I was growing up, my parents | | | | 3) Global theology has universally promulgated |
| uttered this phrase so many times I figured they | | | | principles of human kindness, cooperation and |
| had invented the saying. As it turns out, it's just a | | | | generosity. They don't call it the "Golden Rule" for |
| popular old American adage that seems to have | | | | nothing. Every major religion known to mankind |
| no known author. Apparently who ever said it | | | | since the earliest recorded history of spiritual belief |
| first did not have the same sharp foresight as the | | | | has embraced the principle that it's best to treat |
| people at Nike, who coined "Just Do it!," or Coach | | | | others as we all want to be treated. Strip away |
| Pat Riley who created "Three-peat",or Lindsey | | | | the formal trappings of most major religions, and |
| Lohan who invented "Lindsey" (who knew?). | | | | you're left with common Nice Guy themes. |
| Unfortunately, as a little kid the wisdom of that | | | | Forget the Honey, Show me the Money |
| "honey" saying was mostly lost on me during my | | | | I have to admit that these first three "pillars" |
| formative years. After all, I hated the taste of | | | | make a case that leans more on circumstantial |
| honey, had no clue what vinegar even was, and | | | | rationale and righteousness rather than hard |
| wondered why anyone would waste time catching | | | | evidence. So the cynics could argue that being |
| flies when the real thrill was the big-game hunting | | | | good just for goodness sake might be good |
| of bees and wasps. But with the accumulation of | | | | enough for Santa Clause, but doesn't hold up |
| age and day-to-day experiences, that saying | | | | when there are deadlines to meet and budgets to |
| began to carry the weight of a Nice Guy | | | | deliver. And when the kiddie soccer championship |
| epiphany. | | | | is on the line, apparently the threat of eternal |
| For decades, the phrase "catching more flies with | | | | damnation or the promise of heavenly bliss isn't |
| honey" has been locked in mortal combat with its | | | | always enough to help curb our "enthusiasm." So |
| powerful verbal arch nemesis, "Nice Guys finish | | | | here are three more reasons to help us feel |
| last." And more often than not, "honey" has been | | | | assured: |
| defeated by the overwhelming sentiment of | | | | 4) Sociologists proved that that positive |
| "finishing last," especially when the chips were | | | | reinforcement is more motivating than |
| down and the pressure was on. For many | | | | punishment. Some of the best evidence |
| reasons when something of significance (or | | | | supporting "catching more flies with honey" came |
| perceived significance) is at stake we tend to skip | | | | from behavioral scientists in the 1900's. Building the |
| the honey and pour on the vinegar. While human | | | | cause-and-effect relationship between how we |
| stress and emotions are strong contributors to | | | | think and why we act, researchers like B.F. |
| this cause, much of the reason we abandon the | | | | Skinner showed that while rats will spin their |
| honey ship is that we don't quite believe the | | | | wheels to avoid electric shocks, they'll spin them a |
| premise completely and therefore don't feel | | | | lot faster to get some cheese. |
| comfortable committing to it fully. It's this element | | | | 5) Management theorists showed how positive |
| of Nice Guy doubt and hesitancy that stirred me | | | | influences to human behavior increase human |
| to try and actually prove beyond doubt that Nice | | | | motivation, which increases productivity. Abraham |
| Guys Finish First. | | | | Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs went beyond |
| After lots of research and consideration on the | | | | motivating rats to showing that humans are |
| subject, I formed six compelling arguments to | | | | propelled by higher causes, such as the need for |
| establish the Nice Guy case. I decided to call them | | | | love, belonging, giving and positive feedback. The |
| "The Six Pillars of Proof," hoping to build credibility | | | | work of Maslow and his peers led to an entire |
| with a catchy label. Taken individually, I believe | | | | movement called "organizational behavior" which |
| each one is highly persuasive. Taken all together I | | | | showed that a happy organization was a more |
| think it should be enough to shore up our | | | | productive organization. |
| full-fledged belief, even when the chips are down. | | | | 6) Modern science in the 21st Century continues |
| The Six Pillars Of Proof | | | | to statistically validate that "Nice Guy" approaches |
| 1) Mankind is anthropologically hard wired for | | | | towards managing groups and teams yield higher |
| goodness and human cooperation, which are | | | | motivation and superior outcomes. Highly |
| essential for human survival. Anthropologists agree | | | | respected academic institutions have studied |
| that the origin of ethics can be traced to the | | | | group dynamics and management approaches to |
| origins of man. Now, nobody's claiming that the | | | | compare Nice versus Nasty interpersonal skills. |
| Bible's Adam was the Nice Guy missing link or | | | | There's no comparison. (See previous "Harvard |
| anything. (In fact, after one bite from the | | | | Says So" post.) |
| forbidden fruit Adam went from a Nice Guy to | | | | The most challenging time for employing Nice Guy |
| Eden's equivalent of a sexist pig, ogling poor Eve | | | | skills - for pouring on the honey and not the |
| every timed she strolled through the garden on a | | | | vinegar - is when we are feeling the pressure; e.g., |
| breezy day). But these scientists do offer proof | | | | our project's due date is coming up fast, we're |
| that cooperation and "reciprocity" enhanced group | | | | falling short against our budget, we want our child |
| survival for primitive man and therefore became | | | | to do well in a sports event, etc. It's times like |
| the foundation for the human code of ethics still | | | | these when our Nice Guy and Nice Gal convictions |
| used today. | | | | are most challenged by our human ego and |
| 2) Ancient philosophers concluded that a balanced, | | | | emotions. The more strongly we believe in Nice |
| cooperative approach to life creates a more civil | | | | Guys Finishing First, the more we'll stand by it. |
| and productive society. If we look at the works | | | | Within the Six Pillars of Proof we can find |
| of ancient brainiacs like Socrates, Plato and | | | | significant rationale and hard evidence. At the very |
| Aristotle (the "brat pack" of Greek philosophers), | | | | least I thought it was a cool name. Perhaps I |
| there is no mistaking their conviction that a | | | | should trademark it. Maybe I'll give Lindsey Lohan's |
| balanced, kind and virtuous approach to life is the | | | | attorney a ring. |
| only logical way to sustain and optimize human | | | | |