Dreaming of an African Safari? Go Now, Before It's Too Late

I don't know about orange suits and white-tailedexcitement of the kill and bravos at the noisy
deer and freezing my tootsies by the lake atLong Bar of the Norfolk Hotel. But no gratitude
dawn. I do know about waiting in a blind for thefor the noble prize that sacrificed its life to hang
big cat to be lured by the stench of the deadover a rich man's fireplace.
zebra hanging in the Baobab tree. Back thenThe Romance of the Professional Hunter
hunters respected animals more than humans, andYou've seen the movies, read the
they never killed more animals than the lawbooks-actresses falling in love with the
allowed. Fact is they killed more poachers thanprofessional hunter. Edgar de Bono, one of the
animals.finest professional hunters in Kenya and my
Once Upon a Time in East Africafriend, was the epitome of that image and he left
When you had to have a license for anything youa trail of broken hearts.
intended to kill. When those licenses were limitedI had my own heartthrob; so big, macho Edgar
and you were monitored. No one dared slaughterwith the Northern Italian blue eyes was my
animals the way poachers do today. In thoseteacher, not my lover. He taught me the fine line
days the British ran Kenya and flat out killed thebetween the sport of a hunting trip, and the sport
hapless poachers they caught. The Africans hadof an ego-trip. He taught me about different
the greatest respect for animals and only killed totypes of ammunition and rifles and scopes used in
eat. The Masai didn't hunt animals because theyAfrican game hunting. There's so much to know
never ate meat. Their livestock was their onlyand I've forgotten most of it because I am not a
wealth. They lived on the blood from the largehunter. In addition to single versus double trigger
vein in the neck of the animal, mixed with milkand double rifles there are different calibers and
from the cow. Only the white man had to havesizes of rifles like the big 450 magnum whose
his trophies.sheer weight will kill you. It's meant for the
Long after Karen Blixen wrote "Out of Africa,"so-called big five: elephant, rhino, hippo, buffalo,
long after Hemingway's safaris, and Joyand lion. Edgar fitted me early on with an old
Adamson's Elsa the lion made headlines in "Bornlight-weight medium bore 375-not too light, not
Free," civil servants like me came along to work intoo heavy and a recoil that didn't leave me
what was still the clean, Jacaranda flowering townneeding massage therapy. Acutely aware there's
of Nairobi, a very quiet livable place. Today younothing worse than an amateur hunter who
don't go out alone at night. Today thewounds an animal, I never shot even a hyena
government has herded the once proud nomadicpup, and I don't like hyenas.
Masai into shacks where they have lost theirThe Good Old Shotgun
dignity and are forced into subsistence farming.I did, however, use a 12-gauge shotgun for fowl.
Can a leopard change its spots?One day I pointed my gun at three guinea hens
The Kenya That Once Knew Methat kept popping their heads up and down in a
That time and place have vanished forever like athicket. Tricky critters and fast, they were so
dream. In my dream my friends are nativeclose together I figured I'd hit at least one of
Kikuyu Africans, and the privileged second andthem, which I did. The bird was one of many
third generation white Kenyans who come fromdishes served in the dining tent that night,
Britain and other European countries. If you're likeexpertly prepared by our African cooks who
me, you learn Swahili. A white Kenya boy ofknew what to do with the Grand Marnier.
fifteen learns from his Kikuyu pals how to spotSome of My Favorite Things
the triangular tip of a lion's ear deep in the tallCamping at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro, before
blond grass where the big cats lazy around. Whenglobal warming when there was snow on top.
the boy grows up he inherits his parent's coffeeClimbing it. Sunrises and sunsets that spoil you for
and tea plantations in the highlands, and the lowerlife. Cold nights under African stars big as
drier areas of sisal plantations. He has a stable ofdiamonds. Campfire gabfests about the herds we
horses for racing at the Nairobi track, and heraced alongside that day aboard Edgar's Land
learns how to hunt. Some of my close friends areRover across miles of savanna. Lion in the night
professional hunters who take wealthy tourists onas I stumbled to the loo (British for toilet) in the
safari. On vacation days I go along as their guest.dark. First words I learned in Swahili: Jambo
This is the beginning of my African safariMemsaab/Bwana. Memories of an Africa that
education, when hunting in the wilds means havingonce knew me.
your own comfortable tent with a hot bath at theYou can still go on an African safari, shoot with a
end of the day, brought to you in a largecamera, be in the bush and have the experience
steaming tub of water.of a lifetime. Go now before all of it is just a
Unlike the obsessed character played by Clintdream.
Eastwood in "White Hunter, Black Heart,"Here's Where
professional hunters hold to the strictest etiquetteMashatu Game Reserve in Botswana, Southern
and humane approach to big game hunting. ThatAfrica.
means knowing the species better than he knowsRattray's Mala Mala Game Reserve, bordering on
himself: his habits, what time of day he hunts,Kruger National Park in South Africa. The same
how long he can wait before he eats again,company owns both. They offer very
whether a lioness is pregnant or an elephant is acomfortable camp facilities, or more luxurious
dangerous rogue. By far the most important thingmain facilities. Remember, prices include
I learn is to love and respect the spirit of theseaccommodations, great meals and seeing the
magnificent animals. I don't know of a professionalanimals up close and personal. Even if you can't
hunter who doesn't mourn the death of everyafford it, look up these places on the Web and
single species. Most tourists come for theDream of Africa. I still do.